Lovebody vs Killerbody

By Mariette Reineke. 

Well, ladies, it is that time of year again. Or actually, it is always that time, but in those weeks before the summer holiday starts, the focus is full on our bodies. It is that time of year that the media, society and we as women ask ourselves the question: Are you bikini proof or not?

For me personally, I have about one more week to transform my body into a killerbody before laying myself down on the beach. Everywhere I look, it is about our body and the way we look. Magazines, newspapers, advertisements, books, social media and billboards are telling me that I need to be slim and tight. In other words, my body is not good enough the way it is right now.

I see pictures of people with muscles and flat bellies who seem to be working out every single day. Bootcamp is the new black that promises me that I can be ready for my bikini within six weeks. But I don’t have six weeks…The book ‘the Killerbody’ has been in the top 3 of bestselling books for months, with author Fajah who shares that she finally loves herself, now that she has the body that she has always wanted. But what does love got to do with having a killerbody, I wonder?


The book tells us how to get a body that we can be proud of and show off to the world. But what is wrong with your or my body right now? No matter where I look, my body is getting a constant reflection that it is not good enough. And don’t even think about wearing a bikini. We are being told what to eat, when to eat, how to sport and how often, what shape is acceptable, how to look and what to wear. But why do we need others to tell us this while our body knows everything?

All those billboard people are smiling at me while pushing, moving and working out their bodies through life. They are all tanned, look happy and show off their shaped body goods. The fact that the book ‘The Killerbody’ is one of the bestselling books at the moment says a lot about us. No demand, no book. So what is behind this collective drive to have size zero and have a body that is socially accepted? Do we truly want a killerbody or do we have a lack of self-love and connection? Our body is getting a constant message from our mind that it needs to change: our upper arms are too fat, our legs too short, our stomach too fat, our breasts are like tea bags, our behind too big and most of us struggle with their weight. But do we truly have a weight issue or do we actually have an acceptance issue? The way we think about ourselves is creating a million euro industry that earns money from our lack of self-worth. It is the only reason why the book ‘The Killerbody’ is sold like hot cakes.

But let’s talk about love. How about we start building a loving relationship with our body and start to focus on having a Lovebody instead? Let’s stop the killing trend and start to deeply honour, nurture, care for and love. Because you know what……? We are so worthy of that. We can have size 36 and get all the looks and likes we want while wearing our bikini, but what is next? It will never be good enough, that is the point. If we don’t deal with our self-worth issues and start to accept and embrace our beauty, we can boot camp our way through life, but we will never feel fulfilled. Let’s go for loving our bodies and connect with our innate sacredness. Everything we need is within us, regardless of our body shape.

With love from She Dares writing group. This is the second of hopefully many blogs written by group members, if you feel inspired to contribute…. don’t be shy!

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